3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +26

That's what she didn't say

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your existance.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the puppy poop? he had too

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

TWIX PAUSE!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops