Wanna here a joke? Feminism.

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

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fava beans

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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whats black and white? a zebra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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