what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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the love boat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

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SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

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So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

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What's worse than 10 babies in one trash can? One baby in 10 trash cans.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

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What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

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Knock Knock Yes?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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