Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

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How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

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What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

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How many Caucasian American males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

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Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

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roses are head mydick is blue i live in somolia and i killed all the jews

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you know you are a prostatute when your report car is full of Ds

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops