Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

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you know you are a prostatute when your report car is full of Ds

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Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

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What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

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What's wrong with a black man in a bar? Nothing, Except the fact that he is an alcoholic, and will probably beat his wife after drinking.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Why did the imagrint cross the road? Cuz he stole the chickin's job.

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A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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Get out of the way everybody, a group of elephants are tumbling down the mountain!

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Some woman's like "Make me a sandwich!" Some guy's like "No way!" The woman says "Or I'll rape you!" "Allright. Fine with m... Wait... I thought women didn... I mean couldn.. you know.." "Rape?" "No, eat sandwiches!"

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What's that in the road.... a-head?

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What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

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Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the grass is always greener on the other side.

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops