a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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Q. Why did the boy get so fat? A. From playing Pokemon Pearl Edition

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a woman.

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What's worse than having the name Riley Bathurst? being shot in the head by a black guy.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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roses are red leather is black when when god made you he was smoking crack

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What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

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A man walks into a bar, and spends all his money because he is an alchoholic.

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What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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This little pig went to market, This little pig stayed at home, This little pig had pork chops, And this little pig was GONE...

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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What do you call three mexicans in a bowl of soup? Whatever their respective names might happen to be.

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Q: What did the chinese guy say to his friend? A: ??

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this sentence will end in the way you expected.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well you shouldn't be. I came to tell you your family died in a car crash and you have AIDS.

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A man walks into town and takes a shit!

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

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Why couldn't Paul see. He got stabbed in the eye by two mexicans

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Q. Why can't Stevie wonder read? A. Because he is black

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Gary Busey walk into a bar. Everyone Ran out noticing the potential danger.

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Your sister's feet smell so bad people encourage her to go home and wash them.

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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