Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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yolo mother f-uckaaaa

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hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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I'M THE GRAPIST!! I'M GONNA GRAPE UR MOM AND UR DAD AND UR WHOLE FAMILY!!!

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Another cat joke. You gotta be kitten me.

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

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Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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