Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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If you don't see banners here, it doesnt mean their not there...

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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Why did the man spill his coffee on his daughter? Because he is dying from Mad Cow disease so his hand experienced a traumatic spasm.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

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Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

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A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

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Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

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give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

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How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops