Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

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What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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What's black and has been free since the 1700's? What? I don't know, i was asking you.

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How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

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Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Rigo your a stupid ass

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What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

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A blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar. They all buy a drink and talk about their days.

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Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

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Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? Because he was dead.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Chickens like to wander around.

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Two men walk into a bar. You think the second man would have seen it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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