First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

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If you don't see banners here, it doesnt mean their not there...

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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Who lost World War II? The Jews.

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the man spill his coffee on his daughter? Because he is dying from Mad Cow disease so his hand experienced a traumatic spasm.

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops