A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

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Whats the best ab workout? Solly Twist

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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