What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

Q: What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? A: Popcorn Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? A: F'uck you -Ap

Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the black person

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

Hello, nice to meet you.

Why did the meme cross the road? MEME XD

Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

.....'',;;::cccllllllllllllcccc:::;;,,,''...'',,'.. ..';cldkO00KXNNNNXXXKK000OOkkkkkxxxxxddoooddddddxxxxkkkkOO0XXKx:. .':ok0KXXXNXK0kxolc:;;,,,,,,,,,,,;;,,,''''''',,''.. .'lOXKd' .,lx00Oxl:,'............''''''................... ...,;;'. .oKXd. .ckKKkc'...'',:::;,'.........'',;;::::;,'..........'',;;;,'.. .';;'. 'kNKc. .:kXXk:. .. .................. .............,:c:'...;:'. .dNNx. :0NKd, .....''',,,,''.. ',...........',,,'',,::,...,,. .dNNx. .xXd. .:;'.. ..,' .;,. ...,,'';;'. ... .oNNo .0K. .;. ;' '; .'...'. .oXX: .oNO. . ,. . ..',::ccc:;,.. .. lXX: .dNX: ...... ;. 'cxOKK0OXWWWWWWWNX0kc. :KXd. .l0N0; ;d0KKKKKXK0ko:... .l0X0xc,...lXWWWWWWWWKO0Kx' ,ONKo. .lKNKl...'......'. .dXWN0kkk0NWWWWWN0o. :KN0;. .,cokXWWNNNNWNKkxONK: .,:c:. .';;;;:lk0XXx; :KN0l';ll:'. .,:lodxxkO00KXNWWWX000k. oXNx;:okKX0kdl:::;'',;coxkkd, ...'. ...'''.......',:lxKO:. oNNk,;c,'',. ...;xNNOc,. ,d0X0xc,. .dOd, ..;dOKXK00000Ox:. ..''dKO, 'KW0,:,.,:..,oxkkkdl;'. 'KK' .. .dXX0o:'....,:oOXNN0d;.'. ..,lOKd. .. ;KXl. ;XNd,; ;. l00kxoooxKXKx:..ld: ;KK' .:dkO000000Okxl;. c0; :KK; . ;XXc 'XXdc. :. .. '' 'kNNNKKKk, .,dKNO. .... .'c0NO' :X0. ,. xN0. .kNOc' ,. .00. ..''... .l0X0d;. 'dOkxo;... .;okKXK0KNXx;. .0X: ,. lNX' ,KKdl .c, .dNK, .;xXWKc. .;:coOXO,,'....... .,lx0XXOo;...oNWNXKk:.'KX; ' dNX. :XXkc'.... .dNWXl .';l0NXNKl. ,lxkkkxo' .cK0. ..;lx0XNX0xc. ,0Nx'.','.kXo ., ,KNx. cXXd,,;:, .oXWNNKo' .'.. .'.'dKk; .cooollox;.xXXl ..,cdOKXXX00NXc. 'oKWK' ;k: .l. ,0Nk. cXNx. . ,KWX0NNNXOl'. .o0Ooldk; .:c;.':lxOKKK0xo:,.. ;XX: .,lOXWWXd. . .':,.lKXd. lXNo cXWWWXooNWNXKko;'.. .lk0x; ...,:ldk0KXNNOo:,.. ,OWNOxO0KXXNWNO, ....'l0Xk, .dNK. oNWWNo.cXK;;oOXNNXK0kxdolllllooooddxk00KKKK0kdoc:c0No .'ckXWWWNXkc,;kNKl. .,kXXk, 'KXc .dNWWX;.xNk. .kNO::lodxkOXWN0OkxdlcxNKl,.. oN0'..,:ox0XNWWNNWXo. ,ONO' .o0Xk; .ONo oNWWN0xXWK, .oNKc .ONx. ;X0. .:XNKKNNWWWWNKkl;kNk. .cKXo. .ON0; .xNd cNWWWWWWWWKOkKNXxl:,'...;0Xo'.....'lXK;...',:lxk0KNWWWWNNKOd:.. lXKclON0: .xNk. .dXd ;XWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNWWNNNNNNNNNWWNNNNNNWWWWWNXKNNk;.. .dNWWXd. cXO. .xXo .ONWNWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNK0ko:'..OXo 'l0NXx, :KK, .OXc :XNk0NWXKNWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNX00NNx:'.. lXKc. 'lONN0l. .oXK: .KX; .dNKoON0;lXNkcld0NXo::cd0NNO:;,,'.. .0Xc lXXo..'l0NNKd,. .c0Nk, :XK. .xNX0NKc.cXXl ;KXl .dN0. .0No .xNXOKNXOo,. .l0Xk;. .dXk. .lKWN0d::OWK; lXXc .OX: .ONx. . .,cdk0XNXOd;. .'''....;c:'..;xKXx, .0No .:dOKNNNWNKOxkXWXo:,,;ONk;,,,,,;c0NXOxxkO0XXNXKOdc,. ..;::,...;lol;..:xKXOl. ,XX: ..';cldxkOO0KKKXXXXXXXXXXKKKKK00Okxdol:;'.. .';::,..':llc,..'lkKXkc. :NX' . '' .................. .,;:;,',;ccc;'..'lkKX0d;. lNK. .; ,lc,. ................ ..,,;;;;;;:::,....,lkKX0d:. .oN0. .'. .;ccc;,'.... ....'',;;;;;;;;;;'.. .;oOXX0d:. .dN0. .;;,.. .... ..''''''''.... .:dOKKko;. lNK' ..,;::;;,'......................... .;d0X0kc'. .xXO' .;oOK0x:. .cKKo. .,:oxkkkxk0K0xc'. .oKKkc,. .';cok0XNNNX0Oxoc,. .;d0XX0kdlc:;,,,',,,;;:clodkO0KK0Okdl:,'.. .,coxO0KXXXXXXXKK0OOxdoc:,.. ...

Why couldn't the black man get a high-paying job? because he lived during the harsh and cruel times of slavery.

How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

What's the difference between an elephant and a Jew. The elephant has elephant cancer.

What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...