Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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Black People.

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Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

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try slamming a revolving door

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Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

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What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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