What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

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What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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"33"

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What do you call a black man speeding away in a Ferrari. A wealthy man who is late for work.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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Nicolas Cage's acting.

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Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

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How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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