what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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dfasdf sdf ds fds fds f sdf s fs

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

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whats black and white? a zebra

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Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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