What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

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whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

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Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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