What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Whatever his parents named him

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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What did the black man say to the young white woman during sex? you are a wonderful woman

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what is the difference between joe diragi and jerry sandusky sabdusky only targets human little boys

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why do people play xbox 360's? because there poor people who cant afford a ps3

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Roses are red Violets are twisted bend over now your about to get fisted

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What is the difference between baldness and boldness? The second letter.

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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DESERT

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Two horses, a man with a tall bun, three lesbians, an African woman and another man wearing a clown suit come up to you in your work outfit and shriek:"Happy Casual Friday!" Okay, so maybe this went too far.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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