What is worse than the Haulocost? Running across Africa with KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get hanging from an apple tree? Sore Arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

thumb_up thumb_down +12

so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

thumb_up thumb_down +12

yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you here that Hellen Keller got hit by a bus? No. Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the lone KKK member do when he passed 10 large, muscular black men in the street? He did not tell them that he was a member of the KKK.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Chuck Norris doesn't shave.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops