What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? One is easier to unload with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Priority parking for hybrid cars

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a kid named austin walks into school and gets kicked in the nuts byyy

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

shut up iggy

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats that cool sound it makes when you thumbs a comment?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde are playing hide-and-seek. Hide-and-seek is a fun game, so they probably had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

i lost the game

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

josh roberts goes to church to take advantage of religiously confused young boys

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Romeny or Obama? Obamney

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops