Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

more chocolate?

Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

I had sex with my mother in law

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

F: what is BLUE and has 400 whells ? Q: NOTHING !!!

knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

Do your parents know you're gay?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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