U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

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Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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What's the difference between a North Korean and a South Korean? Nothing, they're both chinese.

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Take off your shoes.

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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