What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

Why was the man reading various news articles on the Internet at 2:21 in the morning? Because at that time he could not sleep. Which meant he tried to find something else to fill his time up with.

I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

hickory dickory dock no one cares

What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

Today is May 18 2016.

What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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