- Anti Joke

What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

Whats very large and produces alot of seamen. The US navy

Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

Obama

Jersey Shore

How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

One below was by me: Walter H

What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops