Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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why was ej's penis hard? because he had just got done having fine exquisit sex which he had ejaculated with a sturn body builder name frank who he had been seeing for the past few months.

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Why is this funny? cause it is funny

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Man: Guess what! Other man: What? Man: Chicken butt

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if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What's 9+10 20+1-1-1+2-1-1+1-2+1

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Whats black and white, and red all over? A: Your grandma, naturally black haired, beaten to a pulp and left pale white with blood covering the majority of her body.

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What do you call a bad anti joke? And anti joke

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What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

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What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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why did the little girl get her hair cut? she has cancer.

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What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

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It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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What did the german get for christmas? an Easy-Bake oven and a G.I. Jew

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

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A dog just died in my neighborhood last week. It made me sad so I vandelized a church and got put into jail. That made me even MORE sad so I vandelized the jail. Morel of the story: This wasn't grammaticly a story. A story is not 3 sentences. --

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS

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Three men walk into a bar. Start drinking, fight each other and sustain massive head injuries.

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Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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This little pig went to market, This little pig stayed at home, This little pig had pork chops, And this little pig was GONE...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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