What do you call a black person with dandruff.... A lamington

im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

What is better than AIDS? Cancer.Cancer and more cancer

I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

What's that in the road.... a-head?

Slam! Slam! Slam! I'm a woodpecker. Slam! Slam! Slam! Except with dirt.

What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

Guess What! HI!

what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

Shaniqua: Knock knock Random black guy: Who is there? Shaniqua: It's me your girlfriend I had a really nice meeting with my dick Random black guy:What?

Confucius say: Man who fart in church probably has a medical condition and should not be made fun of because that is cruel.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

How do you call a guy with a school bus on his head? Dead. It's highly unlikely that a man would be able to withstand the weight of a massive school bus on his head and survive.

Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

Whats the difference between a sandwhich and a dead baby? People eat sandwhiches.

A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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