Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

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How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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Women.

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Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

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Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

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Reverse psychology never fails.

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What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What was the pirate's favorite letter W

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Knock knock. Come in.

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womens rights.

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

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What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? *thunk*

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what do you call a white guy on a bus load of blacks guys? probably his name...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops