a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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there is a black guy riding a bicycle. he is extremely skilled on it and says he has never fallen off.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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why do people play xbox 360's? because there poor people who cant afford a ps3

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Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

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If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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Q:What did grandma get for christmas? A:a coffen

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How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Q. what is catness and pita name together pines

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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