Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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heres a funny joke your momas so fat............

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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A man sat on a chair

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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sdasdadasdasd

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whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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josh roberts got the d in geog

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Q: whats a bunny's favorite music genre A: smooth jazz

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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