Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There where ducks sitting in the bath One Duck truns to the other an says "could you pass me the soap" The other duck truns and replies "dont call me toast"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A handicapp walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +16

knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

shammmm is a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Im Black And I Will Beat You Children At Checkers,They Can Be Red

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

thumb_up thumb_down +16

John Rustenburg at the dinner table

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the man full? He ate a meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why are black people good at basketball cuz their tall

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man wash up on shore? He was on a boating trip, deep sea fishing, with some close friends from high school. About half of a mile off shore his ship crashed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Sadly, not everyone lived this through this tragic accident. This man was one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did little Billy fall off his bike? Anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops