Sac

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock.. Whose there? Not Sara

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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