What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

once upon a time there was a girl named katie. she walked across the road. she got hit by a truck. now she's in heaven. the end,.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

thumb_up thumb_down

No, Trinidad.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down

You're welcome!

thumb_up thumb_down

"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

thumb_up thumb_down

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

thumb_up thumb_down

Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down

Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops