Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

who steals more than a black person?, a pirate.

Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

Why did the crack addict see colors. He was looking at the northern lights

When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

knock knock piss off

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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