Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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knock knock ... no one was in

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

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What did your last slave die of? Terminal Cancer

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops