i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

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Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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Joanna walks up to a random house, knocks on the door,"Is this where the party's at?!"

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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