I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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I'M THE GRAPIST!! I'M GONNA GRAPE UR MOM AND UR DAD AND UR WHOLE FAMILY!!!

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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Black people

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Women's rights.

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What is the difference between a blonde and a Mexican? Their hair color.

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops