What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

What is difference about : Pizza and Jews on the Holocaust? Pizza don't scream when she gets into the oven!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia Roses are red

i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

What time is it? 20:45.

why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

one day four teenage boys started doing drugs. They jumped off a cliff and died.

What do you call 5 of my friends and 5 of your friends hanging out together? I don't know. I don't have any friends.

Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

Are you from Tennessee? Because you accent is really not hiding it

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the poll booth to vote on a law restricting the questioning of chickens destination and furthermore to let chickens cross with out ridicule.

My thanks to those that thumb down my comment below, you have the possibilty to become one of my over 100.000.000 members, as long as you follow your heart, your own will, we got you covered. We got over 600.000 never members since last year, you are far from alone, thumb this comment up, leave a small comment, and I shall send one of my shadows to tell you more, or online if you prefer that, but then I would need your email address... ...As for your home address? Nah, already know it just let me know if you want a visit, but during my 6000 years on earth or so, I have yet to evolve to the point where I fully understand the full nature of computers, they are very recent to me. Yet only those that are willing to follow their hearts and enact their true hidden desires without shame, guilt, remorse, but instead with love and gusto, will find the answers among us. Soon my wings shall spread, and just like that, the world is ours! Moral: "Fuck Morals, would you believe me if I said they where in code? No they are not, the secrets are only within the shadows, and the Black Angel. Nero.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

hey guys what's up?

A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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