Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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Why couldn't the black man swim He never learned how.

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What did rosa parks get for christmas? -Racism

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? because 6 is a capitalist and 7 is a communist

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why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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a man walks into a bar he got hurt

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this is not a joke.

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops