Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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matty russel are you on here

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

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A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" as his FaceBook status, and all his friends were annoyed.

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Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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what do you call a gay guy Ej

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple

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who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

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Dylan is gay

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if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

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Womens' Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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