Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

Why can't you tell Knock-Knock jokes in a Japanese farmhouse? Because your fist will go through the rice paper.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

John Rustenburg at the dinner table

A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

Obamacare haters

Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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