A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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why was the little girl crying? because she was molested

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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the love boat

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

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A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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Q: How did the black man die? A: He got hit by a car, and we all know that this is painful.

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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