3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than an anti-joke? People who don't get the concept of an anti-joke and post regular jokes on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops