In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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96

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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What do you call a black guy driving a Mercedes through New York? A U.S. Citizen

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What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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Whats an Anti Joke

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what did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur nothing dinosaurs can't talk

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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knock knock Labrinth come in

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What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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