Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

thumb_up thumb_down -9

please dislike this or else i will continue writing this, lalalalalalalalalallalalalalallalalalalalalalallaallaalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalallalalaallalalalalalallalalalalalallalalalalalalallalalalalalalla

thumb_up thumb_down -9

?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a special Ed walrus? Anorexic pony ???? Discovering that a convicted sex offenderi is living nearby stirs up a range of feelings: fear, anger, insecurity and anxiety. There are many things you can do to make the situation more manageable - and channel these emotions into actions that address situations that put children most at risk for sexual harm. Learn how to identify the most common threats and concerns. Then find out the best ways you can join with others to keep everyone safe. Take action! Learn how to keep children safe Get the FAQs about the sex offender registryi Download our Tip Sheet:  Concerned about Sex Offenders in Your Neighborhood?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone? Because he was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between Jew and a bread? Bread does not scream when you put him in oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

kiss me?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference of 13 and 4? 9

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

NASCAR

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops