What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

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How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

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Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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Why was the man full? He ate a meal.

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Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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You Wanna hear an anti joke? Womens rights

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"Doctor, Doctor I think I am a pair of curtains" The man was swiftly referred to the psychiatric ward.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

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In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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