A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

Did you know brown and green rhyme? Just not with each other.

Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

What's funnier than 24? 25

How do you drown a down syndrome child? Put him/her into water.

What is Worse than the holocaust?

What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

who is the wildest wild one? matt daly

Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

A man walks into a bar. ouch.

Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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