What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

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knock knock. Who's there? The delivery man.

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Three men walk into a bar. Start drinking, fight each other and sustain massive head injuries.

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a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Why didn't the caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Because it was a cheeto

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A whale's vagina

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was free-range.

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A black man walks in to a bar and says ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? 2 Survived.

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what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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A Mormon bishop, a Jewish Rabbi, and a Moslem Imam all died on the same day. They went to hell because they thought their good works would save them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got mercifully trampled by a nearby 18 wheeler.

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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person: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? person: A Hipster. Me: False.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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