Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +62

How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

I died shortly after writing this.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the redneck ask his daughter to get on her knees? His shoe was untied.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

colby doesnt shave

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops