knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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A guy trips a blind man.

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What do you call two black men in bed? Twix

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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Once upon a cross

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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