What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

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A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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tea with milk?

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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