A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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knock knock get lost!

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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Knock knock whos there? A dead black man ... i farted

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Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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The queen is killed on sunday there are three suspects the cheif the princess and the butler The princess' said she was getting lunch The cheif said he was making lunch The butler said je was getting the mail So who did it A: the butler they dont diliever mail on sunday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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