- Anti Joke

What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

25

A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Good friends enjoying a summer activity.

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

What's an Anti Joke?

Woha! Girl! Its not about the father figure thing, I always saw you as my sister, and well, my really hot little sister but sister still so you know... All ill thoughts where purged before they formed, anyway the point is I am you know... KINDA into a marriage and... Ugh, I feel really really sad, its not you, I just get extremely emotional on these pills, I told Alice to not add Zopiclone into the mix, but I wont break her fingers for wanting to take care of me, its just that Zopiclone makes me so damn sad... Ugh... On the bright side, my face looks pretty good actually, I always needed a scar or two there for manliness, I mean lets be honest, a babyface does not exactly inspire respect if you get my deal, so if you worry about seeing a burn victim or worse, at least my face wont look that way. Details aside, I have pretty much know you feel something extra for me for... A year maybe? I apreciate you sharing that with me, and id be lying if I said you arent the sweetest girl I know, I am glad my wife is not the jealous type when I say this... ...I always wanted to say that you have the face of an angel and the body of a Godess, and am ashamed to say I never thought you would turn out that sweet, kind and smart considering girls as hot as you (well you are a woman now) do not statistically tend to end up as... What profession did you have again? Like six doctor degrees? Was it bioscience or something? It does not matter, sister, daughter potential fuck (sorry, as you said, I say whats on my mind but that was a joke I could not nah... Nope you are my baby sister as far as my thoughts go hope thats fine) Uh, wow this is hard saying, but speaking about sex, my uh, manhood is operational, considering Alice does not know how to hug me without sinking my face into her huge tits (I told her I am sorry, but she wont stop laughing so I guess its okay) Cough, yeah my shadows are really quick about it, you should get the cash in an hour or less, I always keep a few around you and your family, and while they do spy on you (should have told you) its just for your security, believe me, these guys are pros, I mean they say I trained them, but I learned as much from them as them from me, if not more. Uh, honestly I hope you got no, you know, dreams about you and me, I mean I love you but, I have for years felt pretty bad about considering you my sister and still my mind (mostly in dreams) going "well maybe if you keep in mind you are not related" and then again going "NO I CANT THINK LIKE THAT!" To you know... Among other things cheat on my wife... Its not cheating if you ask for permission... She knows who she got married to. Why am I saying this? Sorry, I wont delete it all though, its you after all, Alice is worried about me posting this online, it hurts to laugh, but she apparently does not know me, id say this on a speaker, publically. Eliza this is "Alice", you know me from the same meeting as Neo-Nero, I was kinda going out with him (Neo) Back then, people thought I too died, but it was to keep me safe, just want to add that we all really miss you, and that Nero is more worried about what he is making me type than me, sorry about adding zopiclone into his pills, I mean I do not care if he is used to pain! He was crying out in pain during his sleep for fucks sake!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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