-Can I ask you one question? -Yes. -Thank you.

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say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

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girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

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hi

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

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Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

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Your MUM has aids :D LOL

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

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How do 5 gay teenagers walk? In 'One Direction"

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Q: What happened when three lions escaped from the zoo? A: Animal patrol came and tranquilized all three.. Unfortunantly one of the lions died from to much tranq.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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