Roses are yellow Violets are yellow bark bark

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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I died shortly after writing this.

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Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

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Why did the redneck ask his daughter to get on her knees? His shoe was untied.

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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