roses are red violets are blue ur mom just died and u will 2

Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

miley cyrus

A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

What is worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

What happened to Emma? I raped her!

What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

a man walks into a bar he got hurt

What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

What did the farmer say when he lost his cow? Where's my wife?

Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

Why did the chicken refuse to cross the road? Yo dawg, dat chicken saw dat hoe Sally crossin da road, dat biatch got hit wit a fridge. Dat chicken was like "hell naw, yall must be trippin, i aint finna die over dat shiet homie, peace!"

Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

a black kid goes and gets some cereal and spills some flower on him self and he goes to his grandma and says look grandma i`m white and then she slaps him he goes to his grandpa and says look grandpa i`m white and then he slaps him and then he goes to his mom and then says look mom i`m white and then she slaps him then he goes to his dad and then says dad i`ve been white for 20 minutes and i all ready hate yall nigas

A man walks into a bar. Dyslexia is not funny. -Tag

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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