What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

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What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone? Because he was hit by a truck.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

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Mrs. Welsh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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