Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

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Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

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h

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

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what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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A:Knock Knock, B:Who's There? A:Orange, B:Orange Who? A:Orange Banana.

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Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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Whats brown,looks like a.dike,and is a whore. Marcella

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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A Mexican and a Black man are in a car. Who's driving? The police officer.

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shauns beautiful

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

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The Pope

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A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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