Why didn't the boy have any toes? - Because he did not have any legs.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

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whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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A genie came out of a lamp explain?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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