What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

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A guy trips a blind man.

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because it's a free country chickens are free to do as they please

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

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What's the difference between Google Chrome and Bing? Not much. They are both very reliable and informative internet browsers.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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